just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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