My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
