the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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