So drunk, too bad you don't want this
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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