i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
