Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You are the jesus of drinking
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
