I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
