Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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