Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
