He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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