The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
