Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
