Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
