I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think pants incapable of making pants work
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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