oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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