You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
