There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
