you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Two words: blizzard sex
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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