sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize