My nipple is on Facebook.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
