how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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