im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
