I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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