i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
