the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
