i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
