Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
