We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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