Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
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