apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
