My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
