I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
