from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
