your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
