so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
