No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
