Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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