oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
