honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have surprise drugs for everyone
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
