they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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