I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
