just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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