Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
