Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
