i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
