I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
