just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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