i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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