Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
