Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
my god I love twenty year old dicks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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