oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
