I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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