I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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