you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
