never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
