yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
