Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize