she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Randomize
