im gay
i know
yea but for you.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
