So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am puke
This girl is more easily done than said...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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