Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
