Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
