I swear she didn't look like that last week.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
