I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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