wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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