I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
