I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
