I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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