i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
